Used during New Jersey NCSY's Winter Regional.
Written by Rabbi Ariel Bannett with Shalom Zharnest.
Download PDF
Characters
- Narrator
- Ariel
- Cinderella
- Jasmine
- Old Mickey
Act I: How did you Meet?
Narrator: The Disney Kingdom has captured the imagination of children and adults alike the world over - tonight we get to peek behind that magical curtain and get to know the Real Housewives of the Disney Kingdom!
Narrator: Ariel!
(Ariel marches out)
Ariel: Tonight on this - what do you call it? -show, you’ll get an all access look at my life over the sea!
Narrator: Cinderella!
(Cinderella walks out)
Cinderella: I went from rags to riches but I’m still Cindy from the ‘hood- and you better remember it!
Narrator: Jasmine!
(Jasmine walks out)
Jasmine: Back in Agrabah they call me the Agrah-baby!
(All princesses settle down in their chairs)
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen today we have a special show as we have brought you 3 A-list Disney Princesses to find out - did all their wishes come true? But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves... first, refresh us ladies - how did you meet your true loves? How did you know they were the one??
Ariel: Well, I swam up to the surface and saw a - what’s it called? (other two princesses noticeably roll their eyes and exclaim frustration) - boat. Eric was the first cute guy I saw!
Narrator: Wait just to understand, he was the “first guy” you ever saw?
Ariel: Like I said, I saw him... and he was a guy. And he had really nice eyes and he was playing with his dog, Max.
Narrator: (looking confused) To clarify for the audience, did you speak with him? Ariel: No way! I was hiding out on the boat. Why would I speak to him?!?! Narrator: But you still knew right then?
Ariel: It was - what’s that thing-a-ma-bob? - fate!
Cinderella: Ariel! Stop doing that! You’ve been a human for over fifteen years! You know how to speak english!
Ariel: Why don’t you - how do they say it? - back off!
Cinderella: (Let’s out a frustrated uccchhhh) Well when I met my man it was like ten times better...
Narrator: Do tell!
Cinderella: Well, Prince Charming’s dad wanted him to get married so he lined up all the girls in the country to come to the palace to see if the Prince would marry one of them.
Narrator: And...?
Cinderella: So there I was, I stood in front of him and he, like, saw me and didn’t even say a word. He just looked at me and we started to dance. We started singing a song about being in love and we decided to get married!
Narrator: Just like that?!
Cinderella: Yeah! I mean he is Prince Charming - like that’s his actual name! And we would’ve been married the next day if my wicked stepmother didn’t lock me in the attic!
Jasmine: My Dad wanted me to get married too- but I was going through this phase. I got it in my head that I didn’t want to live in a palace and be waited on for the rest of my life.
Narrator: What did you do?
Jasmine: I did what any rebellious, seventeen year-old Disney Princess would do - I went to the marketplace and fell in love with the first handsome, flea-bitten poor guy that I met.
Narrator: But how did you meet?
Jasmine: Well I stole an apple and the shop-owner was going to cut off my hand. When Aladdin saw that I was pretty he fell in love with me and couldn’t stand to let me lose my hand. So he saved me.
Narrator: How did things go from there?
Jasmine: Well, I thought he had been killed, and then he lied to me for days pretending to be a prince, and even though I knew he was dishonest, and had no means to support me, I decided to marry him.
Narrator: Well, with such strong beginnings I’m sure we’ll all be very excited to find out how our Princesses are faring in their relationships these days! Let’s find out when we return!
End Scene
Act II: How is it going so far?
Narrator: and we are back to the Real Houswives of the Disney Kingdom! Now that we know
how all of our couples met let’s find out how “happy” is happily ever after. Ladies?
Jasmine: well, we are living in the palace again and having lots of servants is great but.... sometimes I just wish we had that thrill of the first time we met and well... Aladdin is well... he’s kinda let himself go.
Ariel: maybe he should have wished for a lifetime of rock hard abs
Jasmine: I know I thought it was romantic when we were young, but I just couldn’t get the “street rat” out of him. I’m pretty sure he has fleas, and he’s never been able to get over the fact that Raja ate Abu. Why he thought a tiger and monkey would be friends I have no idea.
Narrator: So Aladdin lost his looks? but you still have all those amazing memories and of course you married him for more than just his looks!
Jasmine: Well he was very good looking and it’s not like he had any money. Just that genie whom he freed, what a waste of a wish!
Cinderella: you think you have it bad? what do you think happens to a Prince Charming when he ages??? He looks more charbroiled than charming.
Jasmine: y’know Cindy not everyone wants to listen to the blonde, maybe I wasn’t finished. Cinderella: go jump in the Nile!!!
Narrator: Ladies, ladies please may we have some respect for each other?

Cinderella: (sniffling now) Respect? You should’ve heard Charming last week when he told me to stop talking to my mouse friends. They’re the only ones who really understand me! Cinderelly! Cinderelly! They truly do love me... (breaks into tears)
Ariel: Aww Cindy, don’t cry! At least you didn’t give up fins and a beautiful underwater kingdom for your man. I can’t even talk to my fish friends anymore! oh Flounder and Sebastian how I miss thee!!
Jasmine: does anyone else thinks it’s weird that Cinderella talks to mice and Ariel talks to fish?? (motions with finger and whispers crazy)
Narrator: yeah (enunciate) we’re going to ignore that- Ariel, tell us - how is life with Eric? Ariel: Well it's just, that if I had known...
Narrator: if you had known what?
Ariel: If I had known that every time I wanted to sing with him - you know, like- what do you call them? - old times - he would be like “not now Ariel- I’m paying the bills!” or “pipe down Ariel- I’m watching football!”, then maybe I would’ve stayed under the sea!
Narrator: So your saying that down where it’s wetter it really is better? Ariel: Under the sea! (begins to cry)
All Princesses together: (crying) Oh no! What have we done?!!?!
End Scene
Act III: Looking Deeper
Jasmine: (to Narrator) I’m sorry sir, but we have to go!
Narrator: Where are you going??
Ariel: We’re going to where all Disney Princesses go when they find themselves in - what do you call it? - existential crisis!
Narrator: Fascinating! Do you mind if me and the camera crew tag along? we are paid by the hour so....
Cinderella: No problem, but let’s get moving!
They all walk to the other side of the stage.
Narrator: Phew! That was a long walk! All Princesses Together: Shhhh! Jasmine: Quiet! You’ll wake him Narrator: Who??
Cinderella: The ancient rodent who dwells in these parts... he is our spiritual guide and mentor... the very first in the long line of famous Disney characters...
Old Mickey: (Loudly) Who enters my domain?!
Jasmine: Wise Mickey, it is us - your beloved students - your princesses!
Old Mickey: (Assumes a laid back manner) Oh swell, I was hoping you might pop in one day - a lonely old mouse does love company... do you have any cheese?
Ariel: Mickey we need your help! Old Mickey: What is it my dears?
Jasmine: We were raised to be good Disney Princesses... we rebelled against our parents and guardians who only wanted what was best for us, we were never satisfied with what we had and most of all - we fell in love at first sight!!
Cinderella: Oh Mickey! What should we do!
Old Mickey: Girls- I’d like to tell you something that I’ve wanted to say for a long time... In Princess school we taught you that you should never be happy with what you had - because there’s always more out there... we taught you that there were no consequences for having relationships that were based in nothing but good looks and charm... but we were wrong!
Ariel: But Mickey! You were the one who taught us those things!
Old Mickey: I know, I know... I failed you my students. But I want you to know now that we weren’t just created as 2D animation: we were taught 2D values! But life is much more than 2 dimensional - it’s so much deeper... even more than 3 dimensional...love, friendship, spirituality - they all come from the deepest part of a person! Greatness comes from the depths!
Long pause
Cinderella: I think we all need to re-evaluate our lives
Jasmine: I think we all now know that “there is more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking”
Ariel: Wow... this makes me want to - what do you call it? - sing!
All Characters (other than Ariel): NO!
End Scene